Disneyland.

So, here's what went down.

I didn't sleep a wink last night and ended up in the living room watching CNN with my dad at 5am in the morning. It's not something I'd usually result to when I can't sleep at night. But the company sure seemed far more appealing than sitting in my room staring aimlessly towards the darkness like an emo kid.

I was nervous, frightened, scared out of my pants, but somehow the flickering lights from the television comforted me. It meant that life appeared normal. It felt like an ordinary night, just watching television with dad.

I grew up with high school movies from back in the day, where one of 2 things happened.

-Young boy meets young girl. They date. Are completely in love. Boy gets football scholarship to a university and girl gets accepted at Harvard.  They Part. -

..for me... when I was a child..

I envisioned me standing there, opening my confirmation letter, feeling as accomplished as ever.

Imagine fireworks on the 4th of July. 

However, I experienced neither.  :\

I wish my life at that point was just like an 80s movie.

So what really went down? .. 

As irrelevant as my title may seem, Disneyland was the one thing that came into my mind after skimming through my 2010 end of the year NCEA results and acceptance/approval confirmation. 

What I remembered? 
Not the fireworks displays. Not the adventure rides or my dressed up character idols. But my innocence. Me, as a child, having the ability to find anything fascinating. Having this child like wonder about things. I use to be the happiest kid alive. Pure, and extremely hyperactive. <heh>
But it finally hit me. That the 'big bad world' that I'm about to enter is just a step away.
That life was going too fast and I wanted it to slow down. To stop to a hault. 

After reading my results and calculating my points I realised... Is that what life is going to throw at me now?
Are the good days truly over? (not to sound overly dramatic..... )

<sigh> 

I keep telling myself it's just the beggining. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you. And you know what? After contemplating what I've gotten through so far,
I god damn do. I have the rest of my life left. So this shouldn't even leave a scratch on my life's journey.


I don't want to be crying over spilt milk. 

What's done is done. I just gotta look forward, and hope that whatever happens is for the best [: 

On other matters...

It's a night before I leave to Malaysia, and I'm stuck with documents that I have to fill out. 
Apparently I totally forgot to fill out my application for studylink.
Oh boy. 

Life's a climb huh Miley Cyrus?