Mummy they call me names
They wouldn't let me play
I'd run home, sit and cry almost everyday
'Hey Jessica, you look like an alien
With green skin you don't fit in this playpen'
Well they pull my hair
They took away my chair
I keep it in and pretend that I didn't care
'Hey Jessica, you're so funny
You've got teeth just like Bugs bunny'
Oh, so you think you know me now
Have you forgotten how
You would make me feel
When you drag my spirit down
But thank you for the pain
It made me raise my game
And I'm still rising, I'm still rising
Yeah
So make your jokes
Go for broke
Blow your smoke
You're not alone
But who's laughing now
But who's laughing now
So raise the bar
Hit me hard
Play your cards
Be a star
But who's laughing now
But who's laughing now
-Jessie J - Who's Laughing Now.
^Just because I've been in a very teen-angst mood lately.
Hmm.. Everything seems so blown out of proportion when your in a state of ..mmm.. how do I say this without sounding "emo" . Uhm. When your in a state of holding on to the very last inch of your existence.
Yeah. That didn't sound melancholy at all.
Ahhh crap. lol. That sounded a bit over-exagerated but whatever.
It's like you don't know what you're meant for anymore. You don't know how to live your life, why you're living the life the way you are now and why it seems like forever to get back to normality. I felt like I somehow lost my way.
Well I think I've found inspiration/motivation. It may only be a small bit of guidance, but I think I'm starting to see life in a new perspective lol.
I need to stop worrying, Need to stop caring.I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but when your the type of person who worries over the tinniest things which eat you up inside you come to a point where you just really don't give anymore. Like there are better things to do with your life than to just dwell on useless things that won't even matter a day later or week. Why should I care? Worrying only wastes your time over insignificant things when you could be happier moving on, to forgive and to forget.
I think with this in mind, the world would be a happier place.
Or at least my world would be.
Screw all those people who tell me different lol. Tell me I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not nice enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not perfect enough.
Because you know what? No one is perfect, so why the fuck should I be?
I'm me. I'm still learning to be me. I'm still learning. But isn't everyone?
I'm so tired of everyones crap. Whether you mean it or not, who are you to tell me how to live my own life. Yeah okay, I'm a bit stubborn. But seriously, I can stand it, up to a point. But after that point, everything just rains on me like a freaking rain storm.
Add the occasional hail whiplashes and lightening burn storms and you got the perfect mix to make me feel like shittiest person in the world.
I don't know why I feel so strongly about this. I think everyone feels societies pressure to fit in at one point in time of your life. To feel like your being forced to be moulded into everyone's expectations of you. And when you're not what everyone wants you to be, you stick out just like a nail that everyone wants to hammer in. Is that how Andrea felt? Whatever her reason was, I feel like someone needs to give a voice to those that are still feeling vulnerable and insecure. A voice to those that aren't in a state at the moment to voice out their opinions. Someone needs to help those that are feeling this way because a person can only take so much shit in their lives, then before its too late, their gone. If there's no-one, then you can only rely on yourself really. If you can't say anything, who else will.
Well whatever. I'm so sick of all this now. Numb almost at the feeling its put me through. You could say I use to be a passive person. A person who got pushed around, but didn't do much because it was always taken lightly and as a joke. But seriously, if you don't realise what you're doing to a person without taking the time to know how it effects them, then I think we shall have a toast for the douche bags and for the assholes out there that don't get it.
So tell me,
Who's laughing now?
